Understanding grief and its stages
Grief is a universal human experience, yet it’s also profoundly personal. Whether you're grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or a life you imagined, the pain of loss can be overwhelming. Understanding how grief works can offer some reassurance that what you’re feeling is natural—and that healing is possible.
The 5 Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross Model)
Denial: This stage cushions the initial shock. "This isn’t happening" is a common response as our minds struggle to absorb the loss.
Anger: Feelings of injustice, abandonment, or helplessness can fuel anger. It's a way to assert control in a situation that feels uncontrollable.
Bargaining: "If only I had..." thoughts can arise, filled with regret or magical thinking as we try to make sense of the pain.
Depression: A natural and necessary stage, this involves deep sadness, fatigue, or withdrawal. It's not a disorder—it's grief doing its work.
Acceptance: Acceptance doesn't mean you're "over it." It means integrating the loss into your life and finding ways to live forward.
Additional Grief Types
Anticipatory Grief: Grieving before a loss, such as with terminal illness.
Complicated Grief: When the natural process becomes stuck and doesn’t ease over time.
Disenfranchised Grief: Grief that isn’t socially acknowledged, such as miscarriage or pet loss.
What Helps During Grief?
Talk about it: Share your story with a therapist, trusted friend, or support group.
Create rituals: Writing letters, planting trees, or creating memory boxes can offer tangible ways to honour your loss.
Be kind to yourself: Grief has no deadline. Rest, nourish your body, and allow space for your emotions.
Grief is challenging and you will experience it in your own way. I will be honoured to walk with you as you allow the emotions to come to surface and find a way to live forward.
References:
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving.
Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy.
Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement (grief.org.au)